The Science is Clear: Those Who Can, Do—And Those Who Can’t, Run for Public Office 

The world is full of talented individuals. Some people build bridges, others cure diseases, and some even make edible vegan cheese. And then, there are politicians. Unlike doctors, engineers, and scientists, politicians have the unique ability to convince millions of people that they are qualified to do a job without ever proving they can actually do it. It’s the only profession where the less experience you have, the better your chances of getting hired. 

The Political Career Path: A Masterclass in Failing Upward 

Imagine if other industries worked the way politics does. You wouldn’t want a surgeon whose only qualification was a strong social media presence. You wouldn’t trust a pilot who got their job because they once gave a really rousing speech about how planes should ideally stay in the air. Yet in politics, an inspiring slogan and an ambiguous economic plan are often enough to secure the keys to the kingdom. The path to political power is one of the most bizarre journeys known to mankind. It typically starts with an individual who was either a failed lawyer, an underwhelming businessperson, or—if they’re truly ambitious—someone who peaked as a student council president. They surround themselves with an army of advisors whose primary qualification is their ability to say “That’s a great idea, boss” with a straight face. With enough campaign donations and an opponent who is only slightly more unelectable, they can stumble their way into office. 

Policy by Guesswork: The Fine Art of Not Knowing Things 

Once in office, politicians are expected to make decisions about everything from healthcare to nuclear weapons, even if their last real job was managing a fast-food franchisee (and even that’s being generous). They often take pride in their ignorance, treating expertise like an infectious disease. If you suggest that, perhaps, climate policy should be informed by climate scientists, or that economic strategy might benefit from an actual economist, you’ll be labeled as an elitist. Instead, governing is often reduced to a series of uninformed gut decisions, trial and error (but mostly error), and last-minute policy changes based on what’s trending on Twitter. If they get something right, they declare victory and immediately start running for re-election. If they get something wrong, they blame the opposition, the media, or—when all else fails—international conspiracies. 

The Great Trust Deficit: Why We Expect Nothing and Still End Up Disappointed 

Once upon a time, people had at least some faith in their leaders. There was a general assumption that politicians, while not always perfect, were at least attempting to act in the public’s best interest. But somewhere along the way, we stopped believing thatt. Now, a campaign promise is just an elaborate practical joke, and any scandalous revelation about a politician is met with a collective shrug. “Oh, they were caught embezzling taxpayer money to fund a llama sanctuary in Switzerland? Sounds about right.” This loss of trust has serious consequences. People disengage from politics, assuming it’s all rigged. Voter turnout plummets because the choice between two equally uninspiring candidates feels like being asked to pick between a lukewarm soda and a slightly less lukewarm soda. Worst of all, it creates a vicious cycle where only those delusional enough to believe they alone can fix everything decide to run for office. 

Surviving the Madness: A Guide for the Rational Citizen 

So, how does the average person survive in a world where politics feels like an elaborate prank? Here are a few practical tips:

 1. Lower Your Expectations Even Further 

If you think a politician is going to fix everything, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, assume they will do nothing of value, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised if they accidentally pass a law that benefits someone other than their campaign donors. 

2. Learn the Art of Selective Outrage 

Every day, politicians will say and do things that range from mildly infuriating to outright catastrophic. Choose your battles wisely. If you waste all your energy getting angry over minor offenses, you’ll have nothing left when they do something truly astonishing—like banning gravity or declaring war on a country that doesn’t exist. 

3. Embrace Political Satire as Therapy 

Laughter is the only thing keeping society from collapsing into complete despair. Watching comedians roast politicians is one of the few joys left in modern life. If we can’t have competent leadership, at least we can have good jokes about incompetent leadership. 

4. Support the Least Terrible Option 

You’re rarely voting for the best candidate. You’re voting for the one who will do the least damage. Think of it like choosing the least problematic airline—sure, the seats are still cramped and the food is inedible, but at least this one doesn’t have a reputation for losing luggage and setting planes on fire. 

The Hope for a Better Future (Or At Least a Less Embarrassing One) 

Despite everything, we still hold onto hope that one day, a politician will emerge who is competent, trustworthy, and genuinely interested in public service. Maybe someone who actually understands the issues, listens to experts, and doesn’t tweet policy decisions at 3 AM. In the meantime, we’ll continue voting, complaining, and bracing for the next inevitable political disaster. Because let’s be honest—if you’re waiting for politics to make sense, you’ll be waiting a long, long time.